Synopsis: Nico Tortorella is a seeker. Raised on a steady regimen of Ram Dass and raw food, they have always been interested in the more spiritual aspects of life. That is, until the desire for fame and fortune eclipsed their journey toward enlightenment and sent Nico on a downward spiral of addiction and self-destructive behavior. It wasn’t until they dug deep and began to examine the fluidity of both their sexuality and gender identity that they became more comfortable in their own skin, got sober from alcohol, entered into an unconventional marriage with the love of their life, and fully embraced a queer lifestyle that afforded them the opportunity to explore life outside the gender binary. It was precisely in that space between that Nico encountered the diverse community of open-minded, supportive peers they’d always dreamed of having.
By expanding on themes explored on their popular podcast, The Love Bomb, Nico shares the intimate details of their romantic partnerships, the dysfunction of their loud but loving Italian family, and the mining of their feminine and masculine identities into one multidimensional, sexually fluid, nonbinary individual. Nico is a leading voice of the fluidity movement by encouraging open dialogue and universal acceptance. Space Between is at once an education for readers, a manifesto for the labeled and label-free generation, and a personal memoir of love, identity, and acceptance.
I have known Nico as an actor due to Scream 4 and most recently as part of TV Land’s Younger. However, Space Between helped me learn about their life, Hollywood and their journey to find their own identity. Seeing Nico at first glance, I would have never guessed the experienced they have been through: from their battle with alcoholism to their journey to find their own identity and their marriage to Bethany.
Reading Space Between made me feel as if I was going through their experiences with them. I was able to learn about how they identity as non-binary and their pronouns of choice being they/them. As a reader, you also experience part of his family history, his struggles with addiction and his road to sobriety. We also have insight about the people that have influenced Nico’s life and what they have learned from them.
One aspect I loved about book was the Gratitude section as Nico thanks all the people involved in their lives from their family to the cast of Younger for being part of their journey. This quote in the Preface was one that I loved from the book: “By telling my story, I hope to give something back to you. Storytelling is art – the art of healing. I’ve known that since I was stage-acting in Chicago as a teenager. The craft, my first great love. As much as I still love this art form and will continue to pursue it, I’m more interested in telling my own story, in playing the most authentic version of myself, rather than retelling someone else’s. Only then will I actually be able to give all of myself to the characters written for me. I have always believed I would never feel totally successful until I knew I was able to make an offering to the world.
At the end of the book Nico states “What matter isn’t that we get things wrong, or that we don’t see every angle – that’s just part of being a person. What matter is how we respond to it, and allow ourselves to be changed by it. How humble we can be to accept our mistakes and move forward, embracing that new knowledge with gratitude. It’s all part of learning how to be human in a system that has made all of us less than human, no matter where we’re standing. This quote summarizes Nico’s journey and what we experience through the book about their life and learning experiences.
If you have enjoyed any of Nico’s work in the past, I’d suggest you check out this book as you will learn so much from it. I did not want to put the book down, I also suggest trying the audiobook as it is narrated by Nico as well. This book will take you on a journey you won’t forget. Space Between is available now!
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